其实现在出国旅游语言已经没有想象中困难了，特别是东南亚国家很多小商小贩甚至能跟你用中文讨价还价，你问他一句“how much”，他回你一句“三十”，这种尴尬实在是太常见了，习惯就好……不过就算会中文的再多，毕竟也是外国，不能期待每个人都能操着一口流利的普通话跟你侃大山，必要的英文会一点点就好，哪怕说不出来，只要你手脚并用，用上点优美的肢体语言和想象力肯定还是没问题的。个人英语也就是个六级水平，算不上好，但相信我，当你需要捍卫自己权益的时候，你就会发现哪怕你只会说一点点英语（特别是非英语国家），这时候也会成为非常有利的条件！因为吵架你就得用嘴啊！本人第一次出现“学英语真tm有用”以及“我tm英语说的真好”的错觉，就是那次跟泰国无良司机吵架的时候……当时我们要从曼谷某景点打车回住的地方，前提是我们去的时候也是打车去的，所以价格我们心理很清楚。早就听说曼谷司机有宰游客的黑历史，我们走的时候特意选择那种专门帮你打车的地方，还交了20株的小费，就是为了避免这种情况出现，但是没想到还是让我们碰见了。一上车司机就跟我们套近乎“where are you come from”，我们还傻呵呵的以为是泰国人民淳朴的热情，还特别开心的异口同声地说“拆~~娜~~”然后司机就接着套路“China is good balabala……”具体说什么没记住，大概意思就是你们中国人很有钱。这时，天资聪颖的我敏锐地察觉到话茬走向开始怪异，因为坐在前排便下意识的把屁股远离了一些司机，按兵不动，我倒要看看你葫芦里卖的什么药！“……so you have fun in bangkok,and you one hundred,you one hundred and you one hundred ,300 together，ok”他分别指着我们三个人说。Exo me？你说你骗谁不好，我们中国人民过日子那么精打细算，居然想坑我们？此时我的内心已经万马奔腾，但是毕竟上车的时候计价器开着，我下车肯定也是照表给钱，抱着也许是在跟我们开玩笑的侥幸心理还是没动怒。以上均为内心活动，实际上我什么都没说，只是做如下表情↓然后大家都感受到了尴尬的气氛，沉默了大约5分钟。可能他还是不甘心吧，又重新说了一遍，这次，他，把，计价器，合上，了合上……了……上了……了……还有这种操作的吗？？这么随意的吗？花了钱让你打表你还能合上的吗？曼谷交通局不管的吗？不罚钱的吗？啊？尽管怒气值已经报爆表，我还是决定为中国游客保持良好的形象，尽力克制自己。“we paid tips for taxi meter, we have to use it”“……”“turn it on，or just stop here”“……”我靠你不说话是几个意思？怎么不见你刚才套近乎那劲儿了呢？他的脸明显臭了80几个度，接着说：“its very far ,300 baht is ok”呵呵，外号“铁公鸡“的我，多一毛线都不会花的主，骗个老外几百几百株的花出去了没概念，你骗我？做梦吧你！此时我脑中快速跑马灯，从小学到大学英语老师的音容笑貌都浮现在我的脑中，迅速回忆起从小学到大学背过的单词，老师，我一定不会给你们丢人的！“oh,we take taxi to here,and im very sure that its impossible to cost more than 100 baht,so if we use this （指了一下计价器） ,or we will get off RIGHT NOW（此处刻意加重语气，请自行想象小s口吻）”很显然，这个发着纯正伦敦贵族音的高级长句型似乎有效的震慑了他，我一看这必须乘胜追击啊！“and what's more if we get off here,we are not going to pay for it.”很显然他的脸又臭了80多度……虽然我也很怕，但是还是要表现出“老子最屌”的气势，于是我也摆出臭脸看着他。随着他一声叹息，我看到了生命的微弱红光从计价器下缓缓升起，一个鲜红的数字判定了我压倒式的胜利！长这么大，终于吵架赢了一次！还是跟外国人！老师们我没让你们失望！爸爸妈妈我为祖国争光啦！虽然最后还是花了100baht，但是还是特别开心，而且我的同伴都纷纷表示回家一定要痛定思痛好好学学英语！哪怕学得不好，也要多少会一点！所以最后总结一下中心思想：好好学英语，才能在外国不吃亏啊朋友们！
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